Thanks for joining us and again, feel free to check out our website – www.gottman.com - for more information on our research-based methods and how we are able to teach couples like you to have incredible relationships both inside and outside the bedroom.
We have been getting a lot of mail recently from people who are curious about the upcoming content of this blog and our Gott Sex Series.
You asked… “Will we be giving sex advice by doing a “kiss here… suck over there, all right, now bite over there” play-by-play kind of thing? Are we going to be writing racy stories and providing demonstrative images to accompany them? What about reviewing the latest and best sex toys?”
Unfortunately, the answer to these and other similar questions is…
Remember that all the information we are about to share with you is 100 percent research-based, learned through 40 years of careful observations of thousands of relationship successes and failures.
On that note we have decided that in this blog, rather than recommending specific sexual techniques – which are preference based – or giving you advice about the “sex act” itself, we will instead be focusing on how you can enhance the internal components of your relationship in order to better foster passion. We can’t stress enough just how important it is to do this!
Ignoring these internal components and trying to have a satisfying sex life is like trying to lose weight by eating only chocolate cake, which may feel good at the time but ultimately, wont exactly get you the results you want.
Fact: Couples that are satisfied with their sex lives have a lot of depth in their relationship
Even from the relatively small sample of people who have taken our “sex satisfaction poll” on the right hand side of this page, you can see that a good deal of respondents feel some level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their sexual relationship. What is sad however is that this is true of millions of people both here in the US and all over the world.
Why exactly is sexual dissatisfaction such a widespread problem?
1) What do you like about your body? What about your body do you feel good about?
2) What makes sex more romantic and passionate for you?
3) What is it like for you when you have an orgasm? What are the physical sensations? What do you feel?
4) After orgasm do you feel satisfied or fulfilled? What do you need from me? Do you need to feel tender and close? Are you sleepy? Do you feel energized and wide-awake?
5) Many women say that they have lower sex drive than their partner. Is that true for you? If so, is that a problem?
All right, guys your turn:
*Sexuality Questions to Ask a Man*
1) Many men say that they want and expect that ALL sexual contact will lead to intercourse and their orgasm. Do you feel that way?
2) What do you find most erotic and arousing?
3) What can I do to improve the arousal and the experience of orgasm for you?
4) Some men say that they have higher sex drive than their partner. Is that true for you? If so, is that a problem?
5) How do you prefer to masturbate? Can you show me?