Welcome back to the G-Spot Blog! Hopefully you made some good headway this weekend on the getting to know your partner assignment. Before we get to the top seven spicy sex ideas for this week, a quick word of advice.
While we love giving you ideas for making sex hot and exciting, unfortunately none of our suggestions will help to make your experience better overall if you don’t first make an effort to connect emotionally with your partner.
Yes, sex in some of our new fun ways might seem pretty great while you’re in the heat of the moment, but all the pleasure will end when you climax. And when the initial excitement fades, then it’s usually back to square one again with you asking yourself, “How can I make my sex life better? What else can we do?” Aren’t you tired of worrying about the answer to that question? Well, maybe it’s the question that’s wrong.
For couples in committed relationships, sex shouldn’t just be a purely physical act; connecting emotionally must be a part of connecting physically. Why? Because if sex is only a physical experience, then sex is shallow. You are just using your partner for pleasure and stimulation of the body without stimulation of the mind. Essentially, it’s the same as masturbation. With impersonal sex, there is nothing to keep you two connected in a loving way.
Emotional connection means cherishing your partner - verbally, physically, mentally, in all kinds of ways, even when you are not with them. By cherishing your partner we mean thinking fondly about this person that you really care about and thinking about the wonderful qualities they possess.
Someone who has a great emotional connection with their partner is thinking thoughts all the time like, “ I am so lucky that I have my partner in my life, it really makes my life special and wonderful and I don't know what I would do without them.” They are really appreciating their partner. This is something that only grows over time. Through good and through bad, the longer you are with your partner the more you should be able to cherish them.
If your relationship is truly a strong one, then even when you are alone you will find yourself thinking fond thoughts about her hair and her eyes, or thinking about how appreciative you are that he makes your home beautiful and comfortable for you, so when you’re there you can enjoy it. This is where we want you to be mentally before you try to improve sex using new positions or fun, sexy ideas.
Sex is the ultimate intimacy: the combination of two people loving one another, connecting with one another, touching one another, and sharing ecstasy together through the combination of love and touch. Cherish your partner, know their likes and dislikes, think positive thoughts about them and nourish the fantasy or reality that they are special and unique. Make an effort to connect emotionally this week as you try some of our ideas to jumpstart your sex life, and you will feel something new come alive inside you both as the cold of autumn rolls in. Try one or try them all:
Sex Revival Recipe ideas for the week of 10/17/11:
Monday - Role-play a fairy tale, only make it have a sexual ending.
Tuesday - Reinvent your honeymoon/ favorite vacation together in the house – for instance: for Hawaii, bring in leis, Hawaiian music, etc. as a set for making love.
Wednesday - Pretend you’re two different animals, like panthers, and make love.
Thursday - Plan an evening to have sex with one another. Think about what you will wear, music, soft lights, and make sure there is enough time. Unplug the phone.
Friday - Gently caress each other with different objects, like a feather, velvet cloth, smooth stone, fir bough, etc.
Saturday - Meet up for a date using ‘fantasy/play’ names for the evening to pick up each other or have a first date. Make up career/family details.
Sunday - Do a striptease for your partner.
All for now,
The Gottman Institute
The Gottman Institute