Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Ritualize Lovemaking: Reinvigorate Your Relationship


A couple laughs playfully while sitting on the hardwood floor in front of a white wall, reinvigorating their relationship.

        For the next month, The Gottman Institute invites you to take our relationship challenge, 30 Days to Reinvigorate Your Relationship. Every weekday we will share one easy tip to strengthen your relationship and heat up your sex life. Are you and your partner up to the challenge?

Day 1: Plan a time to have sex.

        Many people believe sex should be spontaneous. They think any sort of preplanning kills the mood and takes all the sexiness out of lovemaking. Unfortunately, a couple’s life can get so busy with work, family, and other obligations that unless they plan a time to be together, the sex never happens. This is why Dr. John Gottman recommends couples ritualize lovemaking to ensure that it happens regularly. 

        Find out if there is a specific time of the day or week when the two of you can plan to be alone together. Maybe it’s Thursday evenings when the kids are at soccer practice or on the weekends when you’re free from the pressures of work. Can you arrange similar lunch hours for mid-day lovemaking? Spontaneous sex is by no means a bad thing, but you shouldn’t get swept away by the unrealistic romantic ideal that all good sex has to be impulsive. Don’t let your lack of unstructured time be a drain on your love life. Make sex a priority!

        Planning ahead can even make sex more pleasurable by building anticipation of what is to come. If you and your partner arranged alone time tonight, send a sexy text telling them how much you can’t wait. This delayed gratification builds desire and could make tonight’s sex session the hottest one of the year so far.

Have a great week,
J. Fuller
TGI Staff

1 comment:

  1. I think sex is great and I also think it should be spontaneous.

    ReplyDelete

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