D is for Defensiveness
Defensiveness is a wicked game. But it’s winnable.
Z is for Zed
Here we are at Zed - the end of the alphabet. It’s been a pretty incredible experience working through these 26 topics and exploring a little bit of what I tend to think about relationships.
Y is for Yes
Yes is a word that does more than answer a question. It creates opportunity and invites possibility.
X is for X-Rated
My first exposure to pornography was over 30 years ago. It was in the basement of my childhood home where my dad stored a dusty stack of Playboy magazines.
W is for Wednesday
What would you guess is the most common reason couples come into therapy? The lady who cuts my hair thinks it’s “affairs.” My neighbor thinks it’s “empty nest syndrome.”
V is for Violence
In case you missed it, October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I’m not really sure how you could have missed it, however.
U is for Understanding
Understanding must precede advice
T is for Turning
I’ve already stated that Repair is my favorite concept in the Gottman lexicon. My second favorite concept is Turning.
Talking about sex is more intimate than having sex
Turns out, the most important part of cultivating a healthy sex life is talking about a healthy sex life.
R is for Repair
In relational terms, repair is less about fixing what is broken and more about getting back on track.
Q is for Questions
I have to confess, when I opened up my column to your questions, I was really hoping to get a bunch of benign inquiries like: What’s your favorite novel?
P is for Problems
John Gottman’s research revealed that about ⅔ of relationship problems are unsolvable. One of my favorite questions for couples is whether that statistic is discouraging orencouraging.